


Pretending to be okay

by oreo_vampire



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Cute Kageyama Tobio, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Omega Verse, School, Self-Esteem Issues, True Love, alpha!kageyama, child birth, depressed Koushi, more to come - Freeform, omega!suga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:03:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9664586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreo_vampire/pseuds/oreo_vampire
Summary: Unconsciously Suga's his right hand moved to his neck where his scent glad was located, fingers tracing along it in a circle. As he touched the bitemark he was given by Kageyama his body winced in pain.SugaKage love story with happy end set in AU!omegaverse because i like it.





	

Slowly opening his eyes, his mind still determining where and who he was, Suga found himself in his bed. Blinking to protect his eyes from the far too bright sunrays gleaming through the window he felt that something was not right. It was too early for his brain to think of words to name it and neither could he point his finger to it, but something definitely was wrong.

 

Unconsciously his right hand moved to his neck where his scent glad was located, fingers tracing along it in a circle. Suddenly touching a skin indentation made his body wince in pain. Flashlights appeared before his eyes fading into pictures of himself and Kageyama clinging to each other with not one centimeter in between them, their muffled voices and their scents. At these thoughts Suga's cheeks started to feel very hot, full of embarrassment and disgust. For several long moments he just stared at the wall towards his bed. With his back bent and his knees hugged to his chest he looked into nothingness as in a trance. A single tear rolled down his cheek and then another, leaving shining traces across his face but with no one there brushing them away. He didn't know how long he remained in this position, maybe he would have stayed like that forever, when not someone would have put his arms around him. Clinging onto his mother he braked into loud raggely sobs.

 

“You know,” she said softly, stroking her son's hair comforting him “He also did cry.”

 

According to his mother Kageyama had brought him home after _it_ had happened. The boy had refused to leave Suga's side, wanting to wait for him to wake up, to see if everything was alright, but his mother gladly could convince his kouhai otherwise. He knew what happened hadn't been Kageyama's fault and that Suga had to talk to him about it, but not today. Now he just wanted to get hugged and be told that everything was alright.

 

It's already been two years since he found out that he is an omega and it's already been two years he successfully had been able to hide this fact from everyone. Except from his parents and well Kageyama. He clearly remembered the days when everyone was eager to learn about their so called second gender, consisting of alpha, beta or omega. Seventy per cent of the world's population can be categorized as beta, which does not affect one’s life in any kind of way. Betas have normal average abilities and an average body. The alpha rate is the second highest with a percentage of twenty percent. People being an alpha are usually considered to be born as elite, attractive in face and figure with a natural charisma, being talented in many ways, be it physical or intellectual. Being an alpha as secondary gender one could say you will not have to worry about your future. The last ten per cent are omegas, inferior in all aspects to betas and alphas, most people say they are only good for mating with alphas and giving birth to their children.

 

The chance for someone being an omega and a male is less than one per cent, meaning that in the whole school Suga maybe was the only male omega. He often wished that he could find some omegas, who were like him. He only knew some female ones, but he couldn't bring himself to talk with them. It just wasn't the same. Suga did his best to hide it, but every time he was alone, the mask around his face would crumble and one could see loneliness and exhaustion written all over his face.

 

When Daichi announced that he was an alpha Suga considered stopping being friends with him. It is hard to explain, but since his body awakened as omega he didn't felt like himself anymore and it got worse with each day that passed on. He could smell the alpha scents and it was their smell that made him extremely nervous and the thoughts he had towards his friends because of his instincts made him feel guilty and disgusted. He heard horrible stories of omegas getting forced to please alphas as sex slaves and he saw the harassment of the omegas at school with his own eyes. He was frightened to be found out and the possibility of getting pregnant by an alpha gave him more than one sleepless night.

 

He hated being an omega. It made him feel abnormal.

 

Suga was fed up with the state he found himself in every three months, the so called _Estrus_ or the Heat cycle. It is a period of time where his body is the most fertile and releases irresistible pheromones, attracting not bounded alphas and male betas to mate. Being in heat meant being not able to control your own body and the influence it had on others too.

It was a very painful process, humiliating, relief only found in the arms of another male. He absolutely didn't want someone to take care of him in that way, that is why he took suppressants, which keep the heat in control, but come with a lot of side effects. The heat was for Suga a sickness for which still no cure was in sight.

 

Getting employment being an omega was hard because of the estrus and all the governmental restrictions against omegas. That was why at least at school the omega didn´t want his second gender to control his life. Going to school, meeting his friends and playing volleyball was what Suga had wanted until graduation and now everything just felt apart.

 

 

 

 

From his room window Suga could make out the profile of Kageyama standing in a straight posture in front of his house under the canopy to avoid the falling snow. Again Suga's mother had told the boy that Suga didn't want to see him.

 

_It's already been four hours._

 

His head resting against the window, eyebrows slightly furrowed, Suga began biting his lip, his eyes not leaving Kageyama's dark silhouette for a second. The guilt was piled up on his shoulders, making him unable to move, except for his hand reaching out for the mark on his neck. The bite mark Kageyama had left on it was the proof of them now being a pair. Kageyama and he were a way too young to be bounded; it usually meant spending your whole life together.

 

_Kageyama doesn't know anything about the world and what it has in hold for him, being bounded would mean reducing his future options severely. He should be studying Japanese right now because if he doesn´t pass the test next week he will have to take supplementary lessons, reducing his time for volleyball practice, but instead of learning he is wasting his time in front of my house. This jerk._

 

A pile of snow from the canopy hit Kageyama's head and made his upright posture melt within seconds. Face red from the low temperature, he desperately tried to get the snow out of his neck without success. Suga couldn't suppress a smile showing on his face. To be honest he was glad that Kageyama was there because it made him feel being cared for. He never had wanted to mate, but sometimes he thought, maybe he could. Maybe he could become a pair with someone he truly loved, but now he was bound to the first alpha who found him while he was in heat. He liked Kageyama but isn't the only thing his kouhai has ever shown interest in volleyball? Suga let out a sigh, banging his head slowly against the window.

 

“Aren't you cold?”

 

Kageyama's face lit up hearing Suga's voice. Trying to confirm that it was really Suga standing before him and not an illusion, he tried to reach out for him, but Suga held out his hand indicating he should stay where he was. With a lump forming in his throat he tried to let his voice sound casual.

 

“Kageyama, what happened is not your fault and you don't have to feel responsible for it. We're bounded, yes, but,” he could feel his stomach clutching together at the following words, “you're free to choose another partner. I mean, you don't have to be with me.”

 

Kageyama stared at him, pressing his lips together to a thin line, there was still some snow left in his hair. _Cute_ , Suga thought. His fingers were twitching, but he could fight back the urge to brush the snow away out of the others hair.

 

“What are you saying? I don't want anyone else. I want to be with you.”

 

“No, you don't Kageyama. It is just your alpha instinct speaking and it was also your alpha instinct telling you to bite me.”

 

“I am not some animal Suga-san.”

 

“I know, that's not what I wanted to say.” Suga said bitting his lip.

 

“So, you don't want me stay with you?”

_I want you to be with me._

 

“Yes, that is what I want. I also don't want to spend my heats with you. I just want to forget everything that had happened, so please tell nobody about this.”

 

Kageyama lowered his head fixing the ground with his eyes, mumbling something but Suga couldn't understand what it was. He lifted his head making Suga aware that he was despite being younger quite taller than him.

 

“What if you are pregnant?”

 

Silence.

 

“What if you are pregnant with my child?”

 

It didn’t even cross Suga's mind that he could be impregnated, but of course it could be possible. No, it couldn't. He couldn't get pregnant, he couldn't give birth to a child in a loveless relationship.

 

“Suga-san,” Kageyama hugged him, whispering to his ear “I want to be with you, I want to make you happy.”

 

 _Happy_ , Suga smiled bitterly. _You´re lying, we will never be happy._

 

He pushed Kageyama away. “You are just the first one who got me laid. If not you someone else would be standing here. I don't want to see your face ever again.” Suga taunted making his way into the house. “You will never make me happy!”

 

He spit the words at the younger boy like venom and he could see their effect taken immediately. In Kageyama's gaze was a lack of understanding, the blood suddenly drained from the younger ones face and he wrapped his arms tightly around himself, as if his body just now realized the coldness. The alpha was not able to comprehend why his mate turned away from him. Suga was opening the door, when Kageyama shouted in a volume the whole neighborhood could hear.

 

“I love you Suga-senpai!” And Suga shouted back.

 

“You are still a child Kageyama, you don't what love is!” Kageyama was trying to hold back his tears.

 

“Even, even a child knows what love is!” Seeing his hurt look Suga averted his eyes, he knew that the couldn't give in.

 

“Go home Kageyama.” Closing the door the omega ended their conversation.

 

 _It's better this way. I don't want to be together with someone because of the fact that he is an alpha. I don't even know if my feelings for him just derive from me being an omega. Also Kageyama deserved someone who truly loves him. This whole mate thing is just arbitrariness. Love in general is arbitrariness._ Suga spent a few minutes wallowing in misery. He deserved at least a little self-pity, was what he thought.

 

He refused to go to school for one whole week, ignoring all the texts and calls he got from his friends, just letting his teachers and Coach Ukai know he was ill. He even considered changing schools, but since he was already at the end of his third year his parents didn't approve.

 

“Koushi!” Daichi greeted him, it was his first day at school after his absence. Like always Daichi, Asahi and him were going to school together.

 

“Admit it, you were just trying to get some extra time for studying.”

 

“You're awful Daichi. Don´t make me remember the exams.”

 

“How are you? Everything alright?” Asahi asked, pointing out that he was looking a little pale.

 

Suga meant to say “My heart is torn into pieces and I'm on the verge of a breakdown,” but it came out as, “I'm just tired. The cold was quite persistent” He didn't think his friends would understand what was going on in his head and body, he didn't even understand it himself, trying to explain it would be a waste of time.

 

 

 

 

“Suga-san, I need to talk with you.” It was break time and Kageyama was standing in front of his classroom.

 

_Damnit._

 

“But I don't want to.”

 

“I can't accept that.”

 

“Go. Away. I told you,” Suga hissed.

 

Asahi followed the conversation with a worried look. Daichi positioned himself protectively before Suga.

 

“I don't know what is going on but he doesn't want to talk to you Kageyama. You should respect that.”

 

Kageyama was trying to make his way into the classroom.

 

“Back off Kageyama.” Daichi was pushing Suga carefully to the side away from Kageyama.

 

“Don't touch my mate so casually Sawamura _-senpai.”_ The word senpai sounded like an insult. The air in the room seemed to turn thick and sour.

 

“Your what–?” Daichi turned his head towards Suga and Suga could hear the wheels in Daichi's brain rotating and then they stopped.

_He knew._

 

Avoiding Suga's gaze Daichi took a subtle step back from him.

_This is the worst._

 

He couldn't stand it and left. It didn't take his friends long to find him, a proof of their long lasting friendship.

 

“Why didn't you tell us?” Asahi and Daichi sat down next to Suga on the stairs to the rooftop.

 

“I… I guess I was ashamed. I mean, a male omega, isn't it disgusting? Even now I… I just want to forget everything that happened, why can't you leave me alone?”

 

“Sorry, we can't do that.”

 

“Since you're our friend, you are stuck with us.”

 

“And we still need your brain for our studying sessions.”

 

“Don't forget my unique sense of humour, you couldn't live without that in your joyless lifes.”

 

“How could I forget?” Daichi asked himself in a theatrical tone smacking his hand against his head.

 

He couldn't believe it. They still acted like they normally would. It didn't bother them that he was an omega.

 

“But Suga, this is important, I need to know, did Kageyama– ?” He could see that Daichi had difficulties asking the question.

 

“No Daichi, he didn't force me.”

 

“But you are not happy with it, are you?”

 

 

 

Suga decided not to attain the volleyball club anymore but it didn't prevent him from being a good senpai lending Hinata some of his old school books. Passing by the different classrooms he unconsciously looked out for a pair of dark eyes, spotting them, he stopped raising his eyebrows in surprise, seeing the tall figure of Kageyama sitting alone in the classroom with a black eye giving him a grimmer look than usual.

 

“Hinata, what happened to Kageyama?” The question just slipped his tongue. Hinata seemed unsure if he should answer the question, shifting his weight from one leg to another, he decided to speak up.

“It was Daichi-san yesterday at the training. Kageyama didn't even dodge. And after that Noya-senpai also had his way with him.” He didn´t even had to ask for the reason, he knew.

 

Days passed by and Suga began to miss the volleyball training. Maybe he should go after all. Rolling inside his bed he kicked the book, he lost interest in reading, down. He was about to pick it up, when his phone rang.

 

“Suga-senpai it´s bad!” Holding the phone at a safe distance from his ear, he tried to learn the reason for Hinata's panic.

 

“Kageyama, he, he quit the volleyball club!”

 

 

Kageyama was sitting on a bench near one of the vending machines. Silently Suga sat down right next to him and waited for Kageyama to acknowledge his presence. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kageyama making a face.

 

“Does it hurt?” Suga asked pointing with his index finger to his right eye.

 

“Do you even care?” Kageyama sat up, ignoring Suga tossing the juice box he had just emptied in the trash bin beside the machine with such a force that it could keep up with Oikawa's powerful 'murder serve'.  

 

“Nice toss.” The younger one turned around to leave, but undiscouraged Suga kept talking.

 

“Why did you quit? You love volleyball.” Kageyama turned his head, pointing a sharp, cold glare at his mate.

 

“When I am there you are not coming, right?” They just stared at one another, words weren't necessary, everything he could have tried to tell him, Kageyama could already see in his eyes.

 

“When I come back to the practice, do you also come back?”

 

 

 

Everything was as it used to be. Even now with his friends knowing that he was an omega. In two weeks’ time there will be the prefecture's preliminaries and he was eager to win them with his team. Suga was trying to practice his tosses with Noya when he heard Hinata's voice shrieking.

 

“Kageyama, your nose, it's bleeding.”

 

“It's fine.”

 

“No, it's not.”

 

“Shut up dumbass Hinata. It's your fault. You didn't get the ball.”

 

“Kageyama, get off the court.” Coach Ukai ordered him but Kageyama still didn't move an inch. The floor was slowly  turning red but it didn't seem to bother Kageyama.

 

"I'm fine." Kageyama bent down to get the ball and was about to toss it when Suga moved in his way.

 

“Come on, let me take a look.” Grabbing his arm Suga steered the startled Kageyama towards the gym exit. Kageyama wanted to object but Suga didn't let him.

 

“Don't be so careless. It causes trouble for your team.”

 

“...rry.”

 

“Hm?”

 

They were in the locker room. Suga was slightly bending forward to the seated Kageyama inspecting the damage.

 

“How is your head? Do you feel dizzy?” He wanted to tilt Kageyama's head towards him, but the younger one twisted his face free from his grasp.

 

“I'm sorry that I've bitten you without asking.” Suga could barely hear his words.

 

“Kageyama I told you it’s okay.”

 

“You really can't stand being near me, right? Because I forced you.”

 

“You didn't force me.”

 

“I raped you!” Kageyama shooted up with such force that it made Suga tumble a few steps backwards. The blood was still running down his face and together with his fierce eyes his appearance could cause nightmares to little inoccent children.

 

“And because of that you can't trust me, not even when I say I love you! No one can ever trust me! Not even my own mate!”

 

This was the moment when Suga truly looked at Kageyama for the first time after they had bonded. And he saw. Saw, a little boy with puffed red eyes and dark circles from sleepless nights of worrying about the cruel thing he had done to Suga, saw the loneliness that was written all over his face because he was told not to tell anyone about the bond, saw the leftover of the black eye, a punishment he had been happy to receive as an alpha whose mate rejected him over and over coldly because he didn´t see in him a worthy, loveable alpha. Kageyamas body was trembling and when Suga was coming closer to him he could hear his mate's fast heartbeat.

 

_I'm utterly stupid._

 

Suga reached out for Kageyamas face. He didn't want to smear the blood all over his face, so he just put a light kiss on the place with the remnants of his black eye.

 

“I never wanted to hurt you Kageyama. Can you forgive me?” Kageyama's eyes widened. He blinked. One, two, three times.

 

“You, you don't hate me?” He said putting all his courage into this question.

 

“I don't hate you Kageyama. How could I? You are my mate.“ Strong arms were slung around his body and Kageyama buried his face into Suga's chest. He could feel the relief washing over the younger boy and his stiffened, shaking body started to relax.

 

“Thank you senpai, thank you.”

 

He hugged Kageyama back, inhaling his scent which reminded him of home and he began stroking circles with his hand on Kageyama's back. They stood like that for a little enternity when Suga thought it would be time to get back.

 

“You have to wash my jersey, hear me? And now hold still, you're looking awful with all that blood and snot. If you don´'t take care of yourself you won't be able to play. And you can't do this because I love seeing you play.”

 

“Osu.” Kageyama was wiping away the blood with his hands.

 

“And I trust you.”

 

_Because you love me._

 

“The next time you turn around, you will see me standing there. Always.”

 

“Listen: I am glad that it was you who mated with me. I want to be with you.”

 

_Because I love you._

 

He couldn't stop the words from coming out. There was so much more he wanted to say to Kageyama but he knew it could wait.

 

 “Come on, we should get back. And I know you've been skipping lessons with Yachi. You're gonna make up for it. How about tomorrow?”

 

 “That's not fair. I can´t say 'no' to you Suga-senpai.”

 

“Good to know.” He said gifting Kageyama with one of his sunshine smiles.

Alpha, omega, beta, it didn't matter to him anymore. He didn't know how long Kageyama's feelings for him would last he, but he knew he wanted to cherish them.  Maybe their love will die in the future. Maybe their world will be shattered into pieces. But not now. They have to wait and see.

 

 

 

 

The crying got louder and didn't stop. Grumpily Suga shoved the blanket away, ready to get up, when someone just pushed him gently back down.

 

“I'll go, you sleep.”

 

Not opening his eyes Suga gratefully stayed in bed. The warm blanket was wrapped around him, making him feel comfortable and he felt kisses being placed on his neck. It has been over ten years since they had become a pair. They trusted each other because they’ve endured so far. They had discovered the power of weakness and forgiveness. After all this time Kageyama never stopped being everything he needed. He could hear the baby phone cracking and after a short time, the crying stopped being replaced by a sweet melody hummed by Kageyama. In moments like this Suga could admit that there was a part of himself, which is able to find happiness in being an omega.


End file.
